


One Day At The Museum

by 1f_this_be_madness



Category: Night at the Museum (Movies)
Genre: M/M, Post-Night at the Museum 3: Secret of the Tomb, spoilers from Night at the Museum, spoilers from Night at the Museum 2: Battle of the Smithsonian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-05
Updated: 2015-12-05
Packaged: 2018-05-05 01:32:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5355944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1f_this_be_madness/pseuds/1f_this_be_madness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the night of revels three years after Larry Daley's final stint as a night guard, the occupants of the Natural History Museum return to their exhibits and dioramas, and a meaningful conversation is exchanged between a little Roman and a tiny cowboy...</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Day At The Museum

Jedediah and Octavius headed back to their respective exhibits after DJ’ing the insane foofaraw, congratulating each other at the success of this escapade (3 years after Larry Daley at last hung up the uniform of nighttime security guard for good).

On that day, when the two little men met up again with the tablet of Akmen Ra and all of their friends, they’d been ROCKING those decks! Nicky would be proud.

“YEE-HAH!! Pardner, you were absolutely fantastic!” Jedediah crowed, slapping Octavius on the back.

“No, no,” the Roman protested to his friend, “It was YOU who was amazing out there, Jed.”

“Aw shoot, man, we both did great.”

“Yeah!” They gripped each other’s shoulders and grinned. “And it was wonderful to see everybody again, wasn’t it?”

“Yes it was,” Octavius agreed with a nod.

“Especially Akmen Ra. Gotta love that kid.”

“Mm-hmm.”

“And—even Lancelot.” Octavius turns sharply to look at Jedediah, who is now deep in thought after mentioning the valiant knight. “Hey Octavius, remember that time when you gushed about Sir Lancelot’s hypnotic big blue eyes?”

“Um…no.” Octavius replies firmly, though he is visibly flustered. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I-I don’t recall—ever once—saying that.”

“Woohoohoo—relax, amigo! I was just asking a question. I’m not even trying to tease ya about it, man; I’m actually serious.”

“Oh.” Octavius’s stony look softens and he straightens out his armor. “All right, then. What about them?”

“Well,” Jed says while smoothing out a couple of creases in his leather gloves so as not to look directly at his friend, “I have blue eyes too—or I did the last time I took a selfie. Is there anything special about them?”

“Your eyes?” Octavius is surprised into thinking aloud: “Well, your eyes are not hypnotic in the way Lancelot’s were. His eyes…they froze me, stymied me. I was weighted down while looking at them by the incredible MAGNITUDE of his adventures—all of his great deeds and great exploits and great companions in the Knights of the Round Table; even of his great love for the beauteous lady Gwenivere. And so I was faced with my own very small holding in the world. I am not a legend, I am a man—with this personal empire no bigger than a typical person’s bathing room; and I have an ever-so-small, not at all great love for a scruffy, loud-mouthed, blond-haired cowboy with the sparkliest blue eyes that I have ever seen. And those eyes are story-tellers,” the Roman soldier continues quietly. “They tell me of the places we have been and the things that we have seen—not to mention all of the times we narrowly thwarted the god of death…the friendship that we have shared and will continue to share (I believe this deep in my heart.) And when I look into your eyes…my very small life seems great.” Octavius sniffs and wipes his eyes on one of his gauntlets before crossing his arms in front of his chest. “That is what is special about your eyes.”

“Ah, okay.” Jedediah says slowly. “Thanks for clearing all that up.” Octavius nods and begins to turn away, but the cowboy reaches out to him. “Octavius, wait a second. You gotta know something, man.”

“What’s that, Jed?” The cowpoke sighs and jabs his finger into his friend’s chest, accentuating his next words.

“You are not small. Your love—your life—your everything is as great, if not greater, than Lancelot ever was. I mean, come ON, he tried to steal the tablet because he thought it was the Holy Grail! He was an idiot! But you,” The cowboy steps back and flings his arms out wide, “You harnessed a friggin’ SQUIRREL and rode it across the Mall to save my ass when I’d been stuck in that hourglass by Khamun Ra, that weirdo. You survived Pompeii, man; we learned to drive a remote-controlled car together. Your life is one of truly epic proportions. And I’m proud to be able to stand here and say I’ve shared it with ya.” He blows out a long breath and tips his black ten-gallon hat in a salute.

“Thank you, Jedediah,” Octavius replies. “That means so much to me. So very, very much.”

“All right, good.” Jed reaches out to clasp his friend’s forearm in the special handshake that they have perfected over the years. Octavius does the same, but adds an additional movement which he has never before tried. He takes Jed behind the elbow, and when the handshake is done, the Roman pulls the cowboy forward and kisses him.

He then steps back to quickly re-adjust his helmet and re-situate his armor before clearing his throat and saying: “I will see you during the next visit of the tablet of Akmen-Ra. Good night—er—I mean, good day, Jedediah.” With that he sprints off of the polished stone floor to return to his diorama.

Jedediah is standing stock-still—almost as if he has already frozen back to plastic, leather, paint, and polyurethane—wondering what in the hell just happened to him, and why…why it had felt so darn right.

**Author's Note:**

> My thanks to the creators of and actors in the Night at the Museum movies for entertaining me so well.
> 
> Bless Owen Wilson and Steve Coogan for breathing so much life into characters who may only be three inches tall, but their bravery, decency, and hilarity are larger-than-life: the stuff of giants and heroes.


End file.
